Abbott breaks down: I am an ALP insurgent

Tony Abbott has finally given the clearest and most concise explanation for his behaviours over the years – he is actually an ALP man!

Abbott broke down after a rare happening in Australian media today, that being intelligent and balanced questioning, when he was asked simply “are you for real?”

“No one has ever known I was the greatest double agent since Rene Artois in “'Allo 'Allo! I have told no-one until now. I was Howard’s head-kicker for years and Peta worked closely with me but I hid my double life completely.”

He admitted he came close to breaking down once before. “During Julia Gillard’s misogyny speech in October 2012, I was so close to breaking cover. The torn look on my face was due to being the SNAG that I really am; I was so hurt by being called a misogynist. I managed to keep it together because I knew I had so much more sabotage of the coalition to do.”

Former Prime Minister John Howard’s remaining fringe of hair went even whiter on hearing the news.

ALP leader (sic) Bill Shorten as usual tried to be invisible but was in the end forced to actually say something for once. Media on hand heard something mumbled to the effect of “does this mean we now have a government of national unity?”

A Greens spokesperson who refused to be named publicly said they were looking at legal action over Abbott’s remarks. “There is the possibility Abbott has done so much damage to the coalition he could really be a Green but hasn’t been able to admit it.”

Attempts to reach Palmer United Party via their mobile number received “the number you have called has been disconnected...it’s not worth trying again later.”

Further reaction as it comes to hand.

Attraction to One Gender May Not Be For You....

Many people who, deep down, are attracted to more than one gender, make a valiant attempt to identify as heterosexual or gay/lesbian.

That attempt could be described as....

...scroll down...

....wait for it....

...try before you bi!

(This came to mind at 330 am on Friday 6/3 . I'm in Sydney...I think it's the different water supply).

2014 looking back and 2015 looking further up

2014 looking back and 2015 looking further up

(small trigger warning for ableism at one point)

If I had to do the elevator phrase for 2014 it really was a year of out with the old debris and in with the new foundations.

Sometimes, at the time, this was "positive."  Sometimes it was "negative." Mostly, I got the "negative" to where it just "was."

It didn't look better at the start of the year. Financial pressure and mental health issues (close to 15 on the Beck inventory) were not good. Abusive emails from some people and the sudden notice of termination of a source of income didn't help either.

But then, when it was least expected, from out of the wild blue yonder...Dossie Easton and the Radical Ecstasy weekend at the time of the March equinox. And thereafter I was in stage 3 of my overall life.

Helena May, how can I find enough words of thanks and gratitude for gently nudging me to take the plunge? Perhaps only one word is enough, the new word for you: heartsight. I have met and been guided by some amazing people in the last 20 years; your depth and breadth of unconditional love still makes me (as a tribute to the late Joe Cocker as well) "stand in wonder."

Clearing out 2 big shadows of a lifetime was like ripping out a field of weeds by the roots. One, being fear of ridicule came up reasonably easily. The other being the years of anger I had let people pour into me were harder to uproot; thank you to  those who were there as the rock-hard ground holding the weeds broke up and some toxic emotional vapours leaked out. Thank you to those who taught me new skills to better handle such situations.

So the furnace of anger, that previously only a needed a match to flare it up again was snuffed out. And now when someone throws a match on it, the flame just dies away.

And there were other benefits. I was able to be more in the present than being weighed down by my past or living in the future as a form of escapism. I was able to move more out of my comfort zone. And I was able to change to more healthy fluids rather than needing the addiction of soft drink (252 days and counting on that one).

James Dominguez: thank you for organising the crowd-funding that stabilised my financial position and eliminated that stress. I wish you the all the Universal flow back as we enter 2015.

Thank you to the union rep who assisted me and helped achieve the Fair Work case outcome re the termination mentioned above (can't say more publicly). Thank you to the peeps at 3 CR who connected me with the union when deadlines were looming. Justice can happen and in the words of Billy Bragg (assume Cockney accent) "there is power in a union."

An interesting theme that emerged mid-year was dealing with what I will call misuse of masculine power. (3 things: I don't have a better name for this yet, let's go with the word masculine for better or worse for now and that these things happened involving people of different bodies recorded at birth and gender identities). I'm still working on this one; then again, isn't most of humanity (wry smile)?

These scenarios led to 2 endings with some grief and loss before getting to "it just was." I proactively terminated a client who no longer valued my services, despite the resulting loss of income. I had to learn to have faith it would be alright. The Universal flow has rewarded my faith and my fears were overcome.

(ableism in 2 paragraphs from now)

Another scenario saw the ending of what I will call a long time personal connection. But when someone reveals their truth underneath the condescending and bulldozing attitudes and thinks they have the right to say you are only entitled to have a certain number of opinions, that's someone who clearly doesn't understand basics of friendship, namely equality and respect. I will only have people in my life on an equal basis, K?

I am grateful I was able to recognise I needed time out in the midst of these scenarios. Thank you to the shoe clearance outlet that had a $50 clearance sale in the midst of this time and enabled my fave retail therapy moment of the year: the boots. :)

And the year ended with another piece of learning. I often say the first 29 1/2 years of my life seem like a distant dream where I've woken up with the good bits in reality. Yet sometimes, murky stuff pops up from that past as happened late in the year. Another personal development situation came up with my block to physical exercise (ableism here). The nasty names from that all boys school where I was not good at sport. Unco (short for un co-ordinated) and spastic. I had not realised how deep they had buried themselves and how the feelings of ridicule had kept me from exercise and physicality (as separate from sensuality). It is a case of small steps and steady as it goes on this one; I am looking forward to greater fitness and being able to wear some fave wardrobe items again in 2015.

I acknowledge the loss of Sugar and Prince. I still have moments of denial re Prince leaving before 6 years old. I acknowledge the good memories of both too.

I am grateful to the 10 people who provide me with an ear and a shoulder when I need to clear my head. You will receive special and separate thanks.

I am grateful for the love and intimacy that came my way this year...but I don't kiss and tell so that's all you get here. :)

I am grateful for all the things that have happened in my work such as TGV's office, the BGILT aged care training, increasing interest in bi issues and the human rights award (holy gender diversity) to name just a few.

I am grateful for the love of my family, the good times we shared...and the booze dad forced me to drink when I visited Queensland in November :)

I am grateful for the sharing of connections via mum and dad that will create an exciting opportunity in 2015.

 I am grateful for my housemate, friend and animal lover UJ and our 4-legged housemates and visitors. I am grateful the landlord has informed us there are no plans to renovate for at least 5 years - no cardboard box phobia issues to come back!

And I am grateful for WWE and Daniel Bryan for providing the best 2 clips of the year being the arena wide yes chant and the "you deserve it" on RAW the night after Mania. I will keep using them in 2015 (and that's the bottom line coz salgoldsaidso!!!) J

I am grateful for all the support I receive and for my communities of identity. This includes the poly community and Gary at whose place in the peace and quiet of nature enables the head and heart space to create this piece.

I have some new goals for 2015. These include better prioritisation and organisation of my time. I would like to be there more for friends. I would like to grow my income and wealth and one very practical seasonal gift will help realise that.

I enter 2015 with a true sense of optimism, faith and hope in my own life. I share that energy with you and wish everyone a 2015 that brings all that makes your heart sing, or that in WWE terms, makes you hold your big gold belt up high.

World AIDS Day 2014

World AIDS Day 2014 getting underway here in Australia. Thinking beyond our shores to those trans and gender diverse peeps with I met and to whom I listened at ‪#‎AIDS2014‬.

Think global act local has had much more meaning since then.

Standing together in solidarity and equality with our siblings worldwide.

"Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."

Calvin Coolidge

Back...to the Future: speech at Health in Difference 18 April 2013

Intro

I thought I'd share a speech/presentation I gave last year at Health in Difference 8. Unfortunately, the audio recording didn't quite work; I hope the words can at least give the sense of sense of vision and possibility. And a few things have changed since, but I'll post it as it was delivered.

--------

I acknowledge the original inhabitants of the land, the people of the Kulin nation, and pay my respects to elders past and present.

I also welcome people to Melbourne. As a city that tries to celebrate diversity we arranged that our weather was also suitably diverse for our interstate guests. I humbly apologise to anyone from Tasmania for any remarks I have ever made about it being too cold in the Apple Isle. Seriously, welcome and please enjoy your stay.

Very seriously, I have the pleasure today of talking about building on the strengths of intersex, trans and gender diverse people. As a person who, next Saturday week, will have been out to myself for 18 years– I’m legal - I have seen those strengths emerge in our communities over that time, acknowledging the different degrees of emergence amongst intersex, trans and gender diverse – and for that matter amongst gay, lesbian and bisexual as well. I also acknowledge regional differences in strength around Australia. Overall that strength has improved. Today, I want to look to the future and building on those strengths. What would we like to have achieved in 10 years time for intersex, trans and gender diverse people? What will have changed for the better? Well, let’s get into a car from a well known trilogy of movies and find out.

Which movies? I briefly digress, and have to admit, as a purveyor of 70’s dag culture, I nearly got my cars mixed up. I thought initially of a TRANS-Am...and realised I was thinking of the movies starring Burt Reynolds and Sally Field called Smokey and the Bandit. They perhaps were not a big 10-4. An intersex, trans and gender-diverse-am didn’t roll off the tongue too well either.

So, to get it right, and acknowledging any possible copyright to Universal Pictures and Steven Spielberg, let’s get into the de Lorean instead... it’s actually grown into a de Lorean 747 jet with lots of seats...especially 2 seats for 2 people called Marty and Doc...and an extra seat for Einstein the dog...and...I won’t do the voices all the time...let’s go Back...to the intersex, trans and gender diverse Future!
Hang on Doc, before we get going, shouldn’t we make sure we have...paperwork?

Paperwork Marty...where we’re going, we don’t need birth certificates.  Let’s travel to 2023. 88 miles per hour...and

We’re at our first stop - a Birth, Deaths and Marriages Registry. Look, there’s a trans woman applying to change the marker on her birth certificate.

We’ll be here a while she jumps though all the hoops, fills out all the forms, supplies the signed copies of everything...

No we won’t. So many things happened the over the last 10 or so years. It started with the AH and AB case in the High Court in 2011 which upheld the idea that birth certificate laws were about helping trans people, not putting up hurdles for them. Then it went further. In 2014, the UN upheld the case of another Australian trans man who claimed that to have to undertake surgery when concurrent medical conditions prevented that surgery from happening was a violation of human rights. The huge public and cross-partisan support for his case, combined with virtually zero backlash, meant all state and territory governments moved quickly to amend their birth certificate laws in line with the principles of self-determination, with use of the Argentine approach as a model – and this is the same all around Australia. See look, she’s already filled out the one-page form changing name and marker, paid the small fee and now it’s off to a for celebratory lunch with friends and family.
Wow, that’s awesome...hey Doc, just looking around there’s a really busy counter and a really empty counter over there. What’s that about?
That was because once trans and intersex people were really able to get full say in the equal marriage debate, Australia finally got equal marriage for couples regardless of sex, gender identity or intersex status. People were horrified when they heard that just because someone’s body was considered a tiny bit different to so-called ideals of male or female that some intersex people couldn’t marry at all. The good networks built by intersex and allies with a range of lawyers built an impeccable argument that was a game-changer for the whole marriage debate. The vote in Parliament was hugely in favour. The celebrations were huge. And people had 4 spare Saturdays every year because they didn’t have to go to marriage rallies any more.

So what’s the empty counter then?

That symbolises the other side of the coin, the divorce counter. Because there’s no more “forced trans divorce,” no one needs that counter any more.
Any way, next stop...Broome, WA. There’s a person who lives in Hobart, identifies as genderqueer and who’s unfortunately got a dose of tummy trouble while on holidays - I’ll tell you which cafe to avoid later. Anyway, they’re off to the local GP for some medication.

Uh-oh, they’re going to have to go through a big rigmorale explaining genderqueer and pronouns to a doctor over here.
Not any more. Granted this was a huge problem 10 years ago. So intersex, trans and gender diverse decided on an all out approach from both the top down and the grass roots up. They networked the top brass in the AMA and similar bodies. They found every GP they knew and got them up to speed on intersex, trans and gender diverse...and then got those professionals to nominate one other health professional who they thought would be interested in learning as well. Health professionals who were also University lecturers around the country caught on and made sure that intersex, trans and gender diverse was considered throughout all of medical and psych studies and not just tucked into a corner for an hour. The conservatives in the health profession who showed prejudice against this ended up looking dated. See they’ve got their antibiotics and are on their way to enjoy the rest of their break.
Medical types used to be pretty binary on children who were deemed to be intersex at birth as well. Did that change?
For sure! Let’s pop up to the parental ward at the local hospital...see that paper on the wall? It lists contact details for intersex representatives who can make sure every parent or guardian gets to talk with intersex people before making any decisions about surgeries. Giving parents a free and informed choice where intersex comes up at birth is now compulsory for every hospital in Australia. After comprehensive protection of intersex went through the Tasmanian and Federal parliaments in 2013, other states and territories steadily followed. The combination of law and education of health professionals has made a huge difference.
Off we go again...
Hey this looks a bit gloomy...it’s a jail!
We needed to come here. People used to be housed pretty much on a surgical basis often with tragic results. Now, following some overseas models, every intersex, trans or gender diverse person who sadly ends up in custody is housed on their merits allowing for their wellbeing, with respect to the person’s own input, the wellbeing of others in custody and custodial staff. An intersex, trans or gender diverse person sits on a committee along with prison brass and grass roots staff and helps work out the best course of action. Violence against these groups in custody has dropped by 75%, STIs amongst them by 90%. There’s at a least a more equal chance of getting a fresh start after custody. The shock-jocks still try to make a big deal out of it though...unfortunately some things haven’t changed.
Can we go somewhere a little brighter now?
Sure...he we are: Charleville primary school and the happy recess playground.
OK, let me try this time Doc. I can see kids of what looks like lots of gender identities playing kick to kick on the oval and others, also of lots of gender identities just quietly chatting nearby and it’s all good...one of the year six students is talking with friends about starting puberty blockers next month...the friends are sharing the excitement...awesome...
You’re getting it Marty. Educations departments, schools and principals realised that affirming people in every way was important, it helped make classes happier and more interesting as well as being better of course for the students. Bottling things up never helped. And that year six student’s 2 dads don’t have to spend thousands going to the family court to prove what the family already knew. Thank the brave family who went to court to challenge that and change things.

What happens when the young person gets to 18 and if they need to go through with surgery? Won’t someone still be out of pocket for thousands of dollars then?
Not any more. A good combination of getting the government to work with private health insurers meant the out of pocket costs that used to be huge are now far less...at least no more than for other people who stay in hospital for an equivalent length of time for any other operation, which ended up as a fair and equitable outcome.

So, no more fundraiser parties to help people to pay for surgery costs?
Oh don’t worry, there’s still lots of parties; where the parties are fundraisers there are lots of ideas to keep building intersex, trans and gender diverse communities so they go to greater heights. Let’s go to a party now...
Lots of people having fun together here...
...and look, there’s a trans woman who hasn’t had surgery yet who seems to have just met a special someone. They’re off home. Thanks to all the sex positive education that was fully inclusive, people now know how to have safe, consensual and respectful intimacy with anyone of any body or any identity. More love in the world and less loneliness...that’s the power of love...it’s all good.

Next stop...here’s the office of an HR executive consultancy where a person who went through intersex surgeries earlier in their life has just sent in their medical history as the final step before landing a big job.
The recruitment consultant’s just totally turned past those pages in the report.

Yes, they know it’s all in the past, it’s not relevant to the person’s ability to do the job and not relevant how well they’ll get on with their colleagues and everyone else. Once governments, philanthropic bodies and others got the message of how prevention was a better idea than being reactive and funded education and training, everything changed. Employment, housing and accommodation, the lot are all done far more equitably now. Not perfect, but if least if mistakes happen, they get fixed pretty quickly so that’s ok.

We’ve got one last stop...
Why are you setting the time machine to go to 1973 Doc? ....Police strip searching trans women to see what underwear they have on underneath their outer clothes? Amazingly gifted people who can’t get the job they want? Rows of homeless trans people facing alcohol and drug abuse? What do we want to be reminded of this for?

I just want to be sure that we respect where we’ve come from and that we never go back there. I want to be sure we honour those who faced great difficulties and did their best with huge courage to live or change things for others or both. We always need to learn across time and across generations to keep that respect going and avoid complacency. Human rights and human dignity can only be improved with effort. Let’s use the past as a spur to make sure things keep improving, but let’s not be trapped in the past either.
In which case, I’m setting the time machine for 2.30 PM 18 April 2013.

And we’re back.
I hope that ride to the future proved we can help achieve healthier bodies and healthier minds, not only for intersex, trans and gender diverse people, rather for everyone in every stream whose lives we discuss in the next 2 and ½ days. Maybe there was some artistic licence in that trip to the future and some of the ideas. That’s OK. In the words of Einstein  - the human one  - “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”  With imagination, innovation, love and hope, I wish everyone every success in building on our strengths for HiD 8 – and to quote the final words of Back to The Future 3, “your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one.”

Have a great conference everyone!

---

PS. With a Victorian state election coming, there's a chance to make the future on some of these issues! Watch this space...

A little bit of binary busting

As a trans/gender diverse (and increasingly BGILQT) trainer/educator, I love what I do. I say that after a session I walk out on air 30 cm above the ground.

Increasingly, there are days when I walk out 40...or 50... or...60 cm above the ground. How so, you ask?

It's when I have a "two-way street" experience. That's where someone comes up with (in the words of Daffy Duck) "a little wrinkle that I've never thought of." I have to stretch myself and I learn something new.

So I thought I'd share an example of such an experience from about 3 months ago.

I was talking with a group of young people. They mentioned that some vaccinations at primary school differ for "boys" and "girls" or for our more precise way of thinking, those born with male bodies and female bodies. and the process is "boys line up in one queue, girls line up in another (urk)."
So what happens when there is a young person, (for example) born with male body who has affirmed a female identity very early? They would still need the "male body" vaccination - but obviously to stand in the "male" queue might out them unfairly, maybe put them at risk of prejudice, bullying etc
Damn good question. I candidly admit I hadn't thought about it. And in the moment it wasn't possible to give the "right" answer directly off the bat. So we teased it out a bit, I then went away and consult with colleagues etc, work it out and come back via email afterwards.
For what it's worth, a possible answer is to have lines where anyone can queue and the person giving the vaccination asks "which do you require?" They accept the student's response without question. Also, the people coming in to do the vaccination could be informed discretely beforehand "we have a trans/gender diverse student at our school. So if someone who appears to be female asks for a male vaccination, please be prepared for that and give what is requested without suprise or questioning." There could also be screens of some sort separating the queues so no-one else sees or hears what is going for any other student, thereby protecting privacy.
But to me, it's almost not about the answer - it's about the deeper process that's happening. That people are thinking about this - or once they realise the binary is only an assumption that can be questioned and they then start thinking and questioning - means that by putting trans and gender knowledge together with someone else's knowledge - in this case knowledge of school life (which is deep and forgotten in my memory cells :) ) we have done a 2 + 2 = 5 and put a sledge-hammer blow in the gender binary rock. We've got into the deeply-rooted binary thinking and uprooted one binary plant. We've created alliances together and they spread. And particularly that young people are challenging this is strong reason to believe, even more than hope, there is true generational and long-term change happening.
YAY! #binarybusters

A brief update re #AIDS2014

a brief update re #AIDS2014 and pre-conferences

Sharing stories is amazing and strengthening - as always...

I am hearing amazing human strength from trans and gender diverse people around the world - resilience, courage, persistence, determination among others in the face of huge discrimination, often on multiple attributes e.g. sex worker, HIV as well.

It is totally necessary to acknowledge that yes, there is grief and sadness re MH17; yes, those same strengths mentioned above are helping to counter that grief.

Practically, there is so much sharing of information that will save us having to re-invent wheels here, especially re medical care.

There is a major cultural issue...trying to explain Melbourne's diverse climate to visitors is challenging. We're not trying to explain the right hand turns in the city/South Melbourne area. :)

Seriously...incredible. So much to see and do...adrenaline winning with minimal caffeine.

Huge congrats to My TGV colleagues Brenda and ML for all their efforts in this.

Come on down to Jeff's Shed, 802 in the Global Village and connect. To use the words of V K McMahon from his announcing days "feel the electricity" and yes it's a Gorilla Monsoon "history made in Melbourne" occasion.

And that's the bottom line...coz  @salgolsaidso